Fed up with always picking the wrong partner or ending up in the same relationship dead-end? You’re not alone. Clinical psychologist Petra Vágyi is here to show you that repeated romantic patterns aren’t random—they’re deep-rooted “schemas” quietly steering your choices and reactions. In her upcoming Budapest (Budapest) talk, she’ll explain how understanding these hidden scripts through schema therapy can help you trade self-defeating habits for a healthier love life.
What Are Relationship Schemas?
We’ve all felt it: that sense of déjà vu when love goes sideways, as if an invisible “red button” inside keeps triggering the same arguments, heartbreaks, or awkward breakups. These recurring, unwanted patterns are called schemas. Most are formed during childhood or adolescence, usually when core emotional needs weren’t properly met. Maybe you felt neglected as a kid, or your feelings weren’t validated. These missing pieces become ingrained and later distort your perceptions as an adult, fueling repetitive thoughts, emotions, and reactions in relationships—often without you even realizing it.
Instead of seeing the world as it is, you unconsciously recreate old dramas. The thoughts and feelings seem absolutely true, so you repeat familiar struggles again and again, sticking to coping strategies that may have protected you as a child but now hold you back as an adult.
How Schema Therapy Helps
Schema therapy shines a light on these hidden processes, helping you identify which beliefs and reflexes are weighing you down. Once you begin to recognize your specific schemas, you can challenge and release those outdated scripts, finally tuning in to what you actually need today—and learning healthier ways to pursue it.
The method connects past and present, revealing how spoken and unspoken emotions interlock to shape your choices. Vágyi’s talk uses vivid examples and real-life stories so anyone can see schema therapy in action and quickly learn how to untangle their own issues.
Identify Your Patterns, Take Back Control
The main goal: empower your “healthy adult self.” That means understanding what’s really happening inside you, consciously stepping away from schema-driven behavior, and making space to choose better paths in love. Vágyi’s approach isn’t just about changing your responses—it’s about exploring your motivations and unmet needs, and rewriting your personal script from the inside out.
About Petra Vágyi
Petra Vágyi is a clinical psychologist, couples and family therapist, and ISST-certified schema therapist. Since 2005, she has taught medical psychology at the University of Debrecen (Debreceni Egyetem) and trains future psychologists. Her main focus: unraveling the mental patterns rooted in childhood experience, ensuring clients not only change what they do, but also understand why.
Books by Petra Vágyi
Some of her most notable books include:
- Trapped by Our Schemas (Sémáink fogságában) – explores how recurring scripts run our relationships and ways to consciously break free.
- Schemas in Couples (Sémáink párban) – focuses on partnership issues, selection patterns, and relationship dynamics.
Catch her live in Budapest (Budapest) on October 18, 2025, from 5:00 pm to about 6:30 pm. Tickets are $13.40.
