Tired of repeating the same exhausting relationship patterns? At an upcoming Budapest (Budapest) talk, clinical psychologist Petra Vágyi explores how we can recognize and finally change our undesirable relationship “schemas”—the unconscious patterns that steer us into dead-end love stories again and again. If you’re fed up with living on autopilot, schema therapy (sématerápia) can show you how to break the cycle and build healthier, happier relationships.
What Are Relationship Schemas?
Relationship schemas are like invisible scripts from childhood that shape who we’re attracted to and how we behave in love. Vágyi explains that most of us carry repetitive, destructive patterns formed when our core needs were not met as children or teenagers. Maybe a parent was distant, so you believe closeness is dangerous; or you felt unimportant, and now pursue people who treat you the same way. These early wounds distort how we see ourselves and the world. The problem is, once our mind connects certain situations with old pain, it hits a “red button” inside us—the same thoughts, same reactions, same messy outcomes, no matter how many times the story repeats.
Why We Get Stuck
Schemas persist because, once formed, they become automatic and unquestioned. Thoughts and emotions triggered by these old scripts feel absolutely true, causing us to repeat situations and cope with them using the only strategies we know—ones that may have protected us as children, but now just hold us back. Until we learn to notice, name, and challenge these patterns, we remain trapped in unhelpful loops, never seeing what’s really driving our choices.
How Schema Therapy Helps
Vágyi’s talk brings the theory of schema therapy to life with relatable stories and practical examples, helping you recognize your own schemas in action—why you always pick emotionally unavailable people, or sabotage intimacy even when you want connection. The process allows you to let go of old, unhelpful beliefs, tune into your real needs, and finally work toward getting them met. Schema therapy isn’t about simply putting a Band-Aid on unhealthy behavior. Instead, it digs beneath the surface to address your motivations and needs, helping you build a strong, self-aware “adult self” who can take charge and make new choices.
Meet Petra Vágyi
An ISST-accredited schema therapist, Vágyi has taught at the University of Debrecen (Debreceni Egyetem) since 2005 and specializes in helping adults break out of self-defeating patterns rooted in childhood. Her books include “Trapped By Our Schemas: How to Escape Repetitive Life Scripts (Sémáink fogságában – Hogyan lépjünk ki az ismétlődő forgatókönyvekből?, 2021)” and “Our Schemas in a Couple: On Relationship Problems and Partner-Seeking Difficulties (Sémáink párban – A párkapcsolati problémák és a pártalálási nehézségek nyomában, 2023).”
Event Details
“Our Schemas in a Couple” (Sémáink párban), Petra Vágyi’s talk, takes place in Budapest (Budapest) on Saturday, October 18, 2025, from 5:00 PM to around 6:30 PM. Tickets cost about $14. If you’re ready to leave behind destructive old scripts and consciously shape your love life, this is the event for you.
