Stuck in the same old relationship woes? Ever feel like no matter how hard you try, you keep running into the same brick wall when it comes to love? Schema therapy promises a way out of repetitive, destructive patterns in relationships. Clinical psychologist Petra Vágyi shines a light on how we can finally break free from those all-too-familiar cycles that seem programmed into our dating lives.
What Are Relationship Schemas, Anyway?
It’s like a hidden “red button” inside us: certain situations set us off, triggering the same thoughts, feelings, and reactions—over and over again. Schemas drive us, often unconsciously, into these repetitive traps. Almost everyone has these patterns, which usually trace back to childhood or adolescence, when some basic needs weren’t met. Early emotional gaps not only color how we see ourselves and others, they also distort our perception of reality. As long as we’re on autopilot, our thoughts and feelings feel like unshakable truths, making us repeat the same scenes and flawed coping strategies. What protected us as kids, though, can really hold us back as adults.
How Schema Therapy Can Help
Schema therapy invites us to step back and really look at these automatic scripts. It helps us shake off outdated beliefs and ingrained habits that no longer serve us. Through this process, we can finally pinpoint what we need now—and how to get it—instead of just replaying the past. Schema therapy links past and present, spoken and unspoken thoughts and emotions, until those knots start to untangle. Example-filled sessions make it easy to see the process in action, so anyone can start to become an expert in handling their own issues.
Take Back Control of Your Relationships
At Petra Vágyi’s Budapest (Budapest) talk “Schemas in Pairs,” the focus is on common relationship pitfalls and the unconscious patterns behind singlehood or struggling romance. It’s about naming your own schemas—and learning how to break free from their grip. The aim? Strengthen your healthy adult self, the part of you that can step back, see what’s really going on, and actually change your approach.
Petra Vágyi: The Schema Therapy Guru
A clinical psychologist, couples and family therapist, and certified International Society of Schema Therapy (ISST) schema therapist, Vágyi blends academic excellence with real-life experience. She has taught in medical and psychology programs since 2005 and specializes in working through those persistent, childhood-born mindsets. She believes real transformation happens not just by tweaking behaviors, but by exploring the underlying motivations and needs that fuel those same old scripts.
Her Must-Read Books
“Imprisoned by Our Schemas – How to Break Free from Repetitive Scripts?” (2021) uncovers why self-defeating patterns repeat in life and relationships—and shows how to break the cycle.
“Schemas in Pairs – Tracing Relationship Problems and the Struggles of Finding Love” (2023) zeroes in on relationship schemas, dating habits, and the ups and downs of couple dynamics.
Entry to the event costs about 14 USD.
