Sometimes it feels like life is playing a cruel joke, sending us straight into the arms of the same relationship disasters again and again. You promise yourself you’ll never let it happen again—until it does. That’s where schema therapy, as explained by clinical psychologist Petra Vágyi, comes in. This approach helps you recognize the patterns sabotaging your love life, so you can finally break old habits and build healthier, more balanced relationships.
The Invisible Forces Behind Your Love Life
Relationship schemas are like invisible red buttons inside us. Certain situations trigger these mental scripts and, suddenly, we find ourselves thinking the same thoughts, feeling the same frustrations, and repeating the same unhelpful reactions—even when we know better. These patterns are stubbornly unconscious, quietly shaping our choices and keeping us locked in unhappy cycles.
Most of these unwanted patterns are formed in childhood and adolescence, developing when our basic emotional needs go unmet. Early deficits distort how we see ourselves and the world, causing us to view reality through a warped lens. The defense mechanisms that once protected us as kids often become stumbling blocks in adult relationships, making us feel stuck and powerless. Until we become aware of them, these schemas seem like absolute truths, leading us to repeat the same situations over and over—even when our attempts to “solve” the issues just reinforce the old script.
Breaking Free: Schema Therapy in Action
Schema therapy offers a roadmap out. It helps us spot outdated beliefs and knee-jerk reactions, switch off autopilot, and figure out what we actually want and need—right now, in this moment. By linking stories from the past with current emotions and actions, schema therapy makes the process vivid, helping us connect the dots between old wounds and present-day choices.
Petra Vágyi’s lecture—scheduled for October 18, 2025, in Budapest (Budapest)—dives deep into the role of schemas in relationship challenges and the hidden patterns driving partner selection and relationship dynamics. Expect relatable examples that show how these patterns play out, so you can become your own expert in recognizing and breaking your destructive cycles.
Meet the Expert: Petra Vágyi
Petra Vágyi is not just a therapist—she has also trained future psychologists at University of Debrecen (Debreceni Egyetem) and specializes in schema therapy. Her work focuses on connecting recurring, childhood-rooted mental patterns with present-day behaviors, encouraging clients to look beneath the surface actions to uncover the needs and motivations that drive them.
Her most talked-about books include “Trapped by Our Schemas – How to Break Out of Repetitive Scripts?” (“Sémáink fogságában – Hogyan lépjünk ki az ismétlődő forgatókönyvekből?”) and “Schemas in Relationships – On the Trail of Relationship Problems and Difficulties in Finding a Partner” (“Sémáink párban – A párkapcsolati problémák és a pártalálási nehézségek nyomában”).
Tickets for the lecture are $14. Vágyi’s mission is straightforward: help people stop living on autopilot and become healthy adults who can see their patterns—and choose something better.
